Four Easy Ways to Build Connections and Gain More Clients

The other day, a dear friend asked me if I could design a shirt for her dad. You see, her dad's running in the upcoming elections and they needed some design help. I said sure and her next question was, "How much?"

I promptly replied, "Don't worry about it. I'll do it for free."

(Sooo... I start this blog post with a story of me working for free. It's probably not the most ideal way to begin. Bear with me. But if you can't, you can choose to skip to the list.)

I proceeded to spend a great chunk of my Sunday designing, getting feedback, and finalizing the shirt. It's now at the print shop and I'm quite excited to see how it turns out.

Why do it for free though?

Because it's not my specialty? No, not really. I still delivered a high-quality design, that fulfills its purpose and was submitted earlier than the deadline. I believe that deserves some pay, right?

Because I had free time? Hmm, also no. In fact, I've turned down a lot of design work since last year. I was almost fully booked in 2021 and this year, I'm trying not to work anymore during the weekends. (Burnout caught up with me. 😅)

So why did I still take her request? Because she's my friend.

And she's not just any friend. Last year, she accompanied me to the hospital when I had a health scare. (I found a small but panic-inducing lump. All well now.) She drove me and my family when we needed a ride to the vaccination site. Five years ago, she and her family welcomed me into their home when I had no one to spend Christmas with.

She's done so much more for me over the years. Designing a shirt was the least that I could do.

But it's also important to point out that I didn't do it because I felt like I owed her. I did it for free because I wanted to.

Dale Carnegie wrote in "How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age":

We don’t give in order to get in a transactional sense. But we do give in order to foster relationships—and by doing so we know there will be rewards. Reciprocity is a natural by-product of a relationship where two people share in joys and pains. “Double the joy, half the sorrow,” goes the saying.

In true relationships, friends look for ways to repay friends. What would happen if this spirit of relating spread throughout a company or a particular niche in the marketplace, or even across an entire value chain?

This rings true for me and my close friends. We aren't nice to each other because we expect something in return. We do good things for one another because we simply enjoy doing so. We genuinely want the other person to be happy, and we find joy when we are even only partly the cause of that happiness.

Now, how do we spread and build this type of relationship in business? Especially now, when some of us still barely go out and meet up in person because of covid? Especially in a world where online interactions barely go beyond likes, comments, and DMs?

Four Ways to Build Connections and Gain More Clients

1. I highly recommend you read Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age.

   It's uplifting and heart-warming. It's a perfect reminder of how good relationships work.

2. Aim to make friends, not find new clients.

   I know that this is coming from me who's in a good place right now; someone who doesn't need new clients. But I've been there. Even though I didn't need the money, previously I was desperate to launch my business. I desperately wanted to leave my full-time job. I desperately yearned for financial freedom. And that desperation, clients can smell it miles away.

   So take it from me, don't aim to transform your latest acquaintance into a client. Simply aim to be a friend. Get to know that person and ask them about their interests. If you find something in common, awesome! Share something related to that, like the latest book you've read on the topic, that eye-opening podcast episode you just listened to, or that game you think he/she will definitely enjoy.

   You can also ask about their business. See if there's anything you can help with. Maybe you can refer them to someone who can help them. Aim to develop deeper connections with people. I promise it's absolutely great for business and for your well-being.

3. Be generous and helpful

   I recall Chris Do share this once on YouTube: "People hire those they like, know and trust." The question is: how do you achieve that? You can start by being generous with your expertise. I'm not promoting unpaid work, especially if you're currently not in the best position to do so. Instead, try to help out by answering questions, giving advice, and directing people to some good online resources. (The internet is overflowing with free information on almost everything!) By doing so, you become top of mind as the expert, you earn their trust, and consequently build valuable relationships.

4. Try to do something nice for someone new every day

   For beginners who aren't experts yet in their field, giving away free wisdom might be difficult. So instead, my advice is to simply do something nice. Give a genuine, heartfelt compliment. Offer encouragement and support. Send someone some biscuits. Share someone's post/design/podcast episode/blogpost/business and describe what you like about it. Be someone's ray of sunshine today.

   And if practicing this every day is too much, start off smaller and maybe by just doing it every week. I'm an introvert+perfectionist myself and sometimes, I overthink it. Don't. It doesn't need to be grand. Small acts of kindness can also have the potential to be the highlight of someone's day.

I'll finish this off with one of Dale Carnegie's quotes:

The two highest levels of influence are achieved when (1) people follow you because of what you’ve done for them and (2) people follow you because of who you are. In other words, the highest levels of influence are reached when generosity and trustworthiness surround your behavior.

When you achieve those two levels, people will line up to work with you. But more importantly, your heart will be full and your life will be of joy. So be kind, genuine, and generous.

If you’ve read this far, may your friendships lead to success and your professional relationships turn into real friendships. Good luck with finding new clients making new friends!

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References:

Dale Carnegie & Associates. “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age.” Simon & Schuster, 2011. iBooks.

Photo by Alexander Suhorucov from Pexels

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